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Something Sweet
.by: Shadowkami

                                                           ---

She wanted something sweet.

     The sour and slightly biter aftertaste of devoured fruit remained in her mouth sickening her as the drops of cool water fell upon her. Ruining the serenity of the cascade of falling water droplets.

She desired something sweet.

     Absently she thought back to better days and memories. The sweet juices of watermelon dripping from her chin and fingers. The sharp tangy citrus of orange and tangerine, and the slightly more biter one of grapefruit. The sweet blood-color juices of cherry as they were eaten and consumed.

And she remembered poison was sweet...

    She remembered reports and sayings of the sweet liquid, that though lethal, offered dying men comfort in its taste.

...as was death.

    Ah death, the sweetest thing of them all. An instant relief from all the troubles of the world and a passageway to unearthly serenity and heavenly bliss. Ah death, who promised wary travelers solitude and peace in its dark desolate confines. Ah death, who in exchange for mourning fellows offered a final perfect resting place, ah sweet death...

And so she descended the stairs with such unhappy thoughts in her mind...

     ... and came across an apple. A simple greenish yellow apple, slightly bruised. She smile, remembering sweet cool amber juice descending upon a parched throat, relieving it of its thirst and desire for something sweet.

And so she washed the apple...

    ... and bit into its white flesh, slightly yellow in the light. Its sweet taste chasing away bad thoughts and dreams, and her sorrows and misfortunes, imperfections and otherwise, leaving her only with the satisfaction of finding something sweet.

And having found that sweet thing, and devouring it in its entirety. She went up the stairs, content, and went to sleep.
©2008-2009 ~ShadowKami
:iconshadowkami:

Author's Comments

Eh I couldn't sleep and felt like writing something ^^
Anyway enjoy, and please feel free to leave CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS.

If you were hoping that this was another chapter of Touch me Not, I'm sorry. I'll update Touch me Not as soon as I can (I'm working on the newest chapter I swear!), so don't kill me just yet ^^;

As for typos... it was late... and I was tired >>
Feel free to point them out ^^

Comments


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:iconmoongirlz:
I like it :D Thinking about our msn convo ne~? That's what it reminds me of xDD :+fav: <33

--
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? -Niels Bohr
Right or wrong, it's very pleasant to break something from time to time. -Fedor Dostoevski
:iconredraindropz:
in the second paragraph. you described watermellon as sweet, orange as tangy, and grapefruit slightly bitter. and then you described cherries as sweet again, maybe use a different word to describe it's sweet, blood-colored juice that staines your hands and goes into ur fingernails and looks as if u killed some1. xD (gawd, i'm riting in net speech) As for the apple, i think it would be better if it's those ruby red colored apples, which you can contrast to how a 'bloody' apple could make u feel so good. but those are just a few suggestions. i think the overall prose is swell ^^

--
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're one of the 8% that still rock out each day, put this in your sig.
:iconshadowkami:
No >>
Actually I thought of this story while I was showering xD
:iconshadowkami:
I ran out of adverbs to describe the taste of a cherry sorry xD (remember I wrote this at like 3 in the morning... yeah I think I'm starting to turn into an insomniac)
... and I thought of the apple part when I went downstairs to grab something to eat. The apple was green so xD
I was going to end the story by having the girl kill herself >>
I'd also like to point out that death by poison is a bloodless death, so adding allusions to blood would basically be pointless.
:iconhinari13:
Well to me the first paragraph (About the water droplets) Seems a bit don't know I wouldn't say unproffesional but How you described the water seemed to common...But I am not a writer so don't take me too seriously haha. Overall I think it's nicely written I don't have much critique other then to give it a bit more emotion the feel of the story was great and I know the focus was not on the girl but still giving her a bit of emotion would do wonders for the piece, Also I think the beginning was a bit random was that what you were going for? Because it kind of confused me ^^; I hope I was of some help x3

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Co admin to :iconXennad-FC:


90% of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your signature
:iconshadowkami:
The biter taste of the fruit? Yeah it's kind of random, going from fruit to poison to death to an apple (in a logical sort of way)... but then again I'm really random.
... and remember it was really late (early?) when I wrote this so I couldn't write an over-the-top description of the water or anything, by the time I was writing this I really just wanted to go to sleep (I corrected a few typos here and there, but that was about it) ^^;.
If she seems a bit emotionless, it's because I wanted to focus more on what she was thinking. You could assume that she felt guilt over the thought of leaving loved ones behind, and a bunch of other emotions.
I guess I went a little over-the-top with the thought process and left the emotions behind, but yeah ^^;
I was actually thinking of not posting this, so... just be glad I posted it xD
:iconhinari13:
bitter* xD Yeah I can see where yo uare coming from and arn't we all random just in different extents :) Yeah I can imagine just wanting to sleep while writing this :o Hm the guilt thing didn't really come across to me I'll reread it though and look for that...
Well some people write stories with no logic at all just a bunc of emotion and those are the kinds of stories I hate so I'm glad I got to see it the other way around this time.
Oh I am glad you posted! You're a wonderful writer with many interesting ideas ^^

--
Co admin to :iconXennad-FC:


90% of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your signature
:iconshadowkami:
I think most people would say that they would rather read the more emotional story, it draws you in and it doesn't let you go until the very end xD
Logical stories are more bland and not very many people like to read them, since it's "boring" (think non-fiction), I think it would take a very dedicated individual to be able to sit through one and read it till the end xD
And thank you ^^, I may not like how my stories end up, but the ideas are always interesting. Maybe in the future I share some with you ne~?
Thanks for the correction, I told you it was late when I wrote this xD
:iconredraindropz:
i thought the poison would make u puke blood, thats what happens in dramas. xD you drink it, then u start coughing, and u look up, open your mouth, and blood would be dripping down, u smile gently, and u fall, dead before you reach the ground. ^^

--
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're one of the 8% that still rock out each day, put this in your sig.

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July 6, 2008
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